The Self Made Pundit
Thursday, February 12, 2004
THE TRUTH BEHIND BUSH'S NATIONAL GUARD SERVICE: The Self Made Pundit is typing these words from an undisclosed location after having been undercover for the past three months investigating the shocking truth behind President Bush's mysterious National Guard service.
Was Bush really a dissolute wealthy playboy who blew off his National Guard duty and went AWOL, or is the truth something far more sinister?
I believe that I am now only hours away from solving not only the riddle of Bush's "missing year" in the National Guard but other Bush mysteries so horrifying I dare not even hint at them. I need only to lay my hands on one last dental record to reveal whole sordid story.
Though it may cost me my life, I must return to blogging.
But I fear I have already said too much and dallied too long at this seedy internet cafe near the docks of this city I dare not name.
If Operative X-7 is still alive and reading this blog, be prepared to take speedy action if I do not post again in the next 48 hours. You know the safety deposit box in which I have hidden the evidence we've uncovered to date. Take whatever steps you deem necessary to reveal the truth and avenge my name. Just remember that when you ask for the safety deposit box you must speak in a lisping Hungarian accent. And of course, don't forget to walk with a limp and to wear the red wig and monocle. And try to be inconspicuous.